Title: Bring Me Into the Light (21/?)
AUTHOR: Mistress Ace & Em
E-MAIL: rosewood@inreach.com & vicedragonv@msn.com
FEEDBACK: Is the butter on our bread. We write because the story begs to be told. Feedback lets us know if we struck a chord with you.
DISTRIBUTION: Our site, for the moment. When we post fully edited chapters, those can be posted elsewhere. RATING: NC-17
CATEGORY: Story: Romance, Angst
SPOILERS: As You Were
PAIRINGS: B/R/Sam, m/f, f/f
DISCLAIMER: Don't own the characters at all. (More's the pity) They belong to the Great God Joss Whedon et al. We are just borrowing them for a little bit. That's all. No BtVS characters were harmed in the writing of this fic. Well, maybe just a little.
SUMMARY: Not back for long enough. Not nearly long enough and there were too many things left up in the air. But isn't that the purpose of fan-fiction?
 

Chapter 21

Sam moved away from his side and Riley nodded. He kept his arms around Buffy as he rolled over, turned her until she was cradled between the two of them. Sam smoothed her hair, her hand moving in a hypnotic pattern, soothing the still trembling Slayer. "Buffy. It's my fault Ry's like that. I taught him... figured it would help loosen him up. I'm sorry."

Despite her own pain, Buffy protested softly, "It's not your fault, Sam. You couldn't have known...." She shook her head. If someone had told her two weeks ago that this would happen, she would have said they were crazy. If Sam liked to hear such things, Buffy would do her best to not listen to it... even if she had to leave the room, she wouldn't make them make changes in the way things were, just for her.

She couldn't ask them to do that, she was still too unsure of her own place in the grand scheme. All the reassurances, all the claims they'd made on each other had only penetrated so far. Part of her was still uncertain and afraid. But it wasn't them that she doubted; it was herself.

"It won't happen again." Riley promised, kissing her forehead. "It'll never happen again." There was a wealth of meaning behind his words. He'd learned how to be that way in bed, he could unlearn it. And Spike was dust, as soon as Riley found him, he was gonna be nothing but dust.

Buffy's thoughts swirled in her head again. Part of her was thrilled that he would be willing to make that kind of effort for her, but part of her also felt guilty for it. And felt guilty for wanting 'her' Riley back... the one who'd never frightened her.

But she knew that what she mostly wanted back was simpler times and the innocence she'd lost. It would be just as good for her to have no reason to be frightened over such a simple thing. And then she wouldn't have to take away something that was obviously a part of Sam and Riley's relationship.

As her thoughts jumbled up inside of her, she knew that they needed to talk this out. She didn't need either the fear or the guilt if she was going to recover. "You don't have to change, just because of me, Riley. I wouldn't want to take anything away from you, either of you. Especially if it's something you enjoy..."

"Guess we need to talk, then. You know I'll never hurt you, right?" He looked straight into her eyes, there was no guile. No sly aside or lift of his eyebrow that would have reminded her of Spike. When she nodded, he continued, "Listen to my voice. I love you. You're beautiful and sexy and God, I love being inside you."

Sam's hand was on her hip, drawing lazy circles on her skin. She kissed Buffy behind her ear and murmured as well, hoping that she'd caught where Riley was going with this. "I love watching him when he's in you. Watching his cock slide in and out of you. You glow... you shine." Her voice was a slow, steady purr in Buffy's ear and the hand on her hip moved lower, fingertips brushing through her curls.

Buffy shivered lightly at her lovers' words, the tone of their voices. Honest, no trace of guile or hint of untruth, but low and sensual and sending tiny shivers through her. Her eyes were caught on Riley's, but she stayed quiet. Listening, as he bade her.

"Love the sounds you make. Those little kitteny noises… Love when you call my name." Riley inched closer, rocked into her. Still connected, still inside her, not as hard but still there. As he spoke, he grew harder, rising to the challenge again. "Yeah, you feel so good. Whenever I'm near you, it's hard to think, it's hard to breathe... You make me so hard, sweetheart."

Moving with Riley, Sam rocked against Buffy, pressed up against her back. She slid her hand between them and pressed the heel of it into Buffy's stomach. The resulting gasp told Sam that Buffy was feeling exactly what she should. She felt Riley deep inside, felt him moving against her hand and knew Buffy felt that too. "No matter how he says it or what he says, we don't fuck, Buffy. We don't... That's not what this is."

"I know..." Buffy breathed, her words ending in a soft moan. Warm, she felt warm all over. Filled, surrounded, protected... safe. Loved. Her head tipped back to rest on Sam's shoulder; her half-lidded eyes would have closed but she could not let go of Riley's gaze. She needed to see him, held onto the softness and love that shone there.

"Everything about you is beautiful. Your eyes," Riley kissed her forehead, right above each eye. "Your hair," another kiss, brushing through her tangled locks. "Your throat, your ears, your shoulders." Each part was kissed in turn - lingering, wet kisses. "Your breasts. I could spend days here." Riley took one nipple in his mouth, palming the other, rubbing it while his tongue flicked.

Sam was in complete agreement, she could spend days and days there. She kissed the nape of Buffy's neck and felt her shiver. "He feels good, doesn't he? Warm and strong and..." Sam rose up on one elbow, peering over Buffy's shoulder so she could see Riley. His eyes were closed and he was totally absorbed in what he was doing. Rocking slowly in and out of Buffy, his mouth on her breast. "He loves to suck. He's got an incredible mouth... You taught him that, Buffy. Not me, he came to me already trained... This is what you gave him."

With a soft moan, Buffy nodded slightly her agreement - Riley had an absolutely incredible mouth. "Perhaps a little... didn't really have... to do much... beyond a few... suggestions. He does it... because he... loves to." Her words were broken, interspersed with gasps and soft cries. Riley was doing incredible things to her body; slow and gentle and exactly what she needed.

And Sam's continuing comments and kisses added to it, wrapping her body and mind in a soft haze of pleasure. Even when she was quiet, listening to Sam, Buffy didn't fall completely silent again; there was always a faint purring that rose from the back of her throat. Her hands cradled Riley's head against her chest, sliding into his hair.

His eyes opened slowly, dazed and dark, lost in what he was doing to her and with her. When his mouth left her skin, he spoke again, in the same low and sensual tone. Voice like smoke, encircling her, seducing her. "You taste like heaven... everywhere. Happiest moments of my life..." His mouth was beside her ear now, warm lips brushing against her skin. "have been spent going down on you. Remember? I spent a whole afternoon there..."

Summer heat outside, sexual heat inside. The air conditioner hummed overhead while he licked and sucked and brought her to the brink time after time. Joyce gone on a business trip and Dawn with her dad so Riley planned it out. Wanted to prove to Buffy that he could outlast her. And he did... his jaw was sore for days afterward but he'd gone home with a smile on his face. Left his girlfriend asleep in her bed, totally and utterly spent.

Sweat prickled on Sam's skin. If she hadn't already been in love with Riley, she would have fallen right now. Never mind that he was talking to Buffy or that he was bringing up things that he'd done with her. His voice was working its magic and she was under its sway. No wonder she loved hearing him talk during sex... he was so good at it.

Buffy, too, was under the spell of Riley's voice. His words conjured the memory of the afternoon he'd mentioned. "Oh, God..." she moaned. "I remember." And did she ever. She'd lost track of how many times he'd made her come, licking and sucking and drinking her like she was the sweetest of fruits.

When he finally let her come down after hours of near-constant highs, he'd held her until she fell asleep and promised to come back in the morning. And he had come back, found her still in bed although she had been awake. She'd still been swept up in the glowy feelings and reluctant to get up since there was no one to make her.

That day, he'd pleasured her for hours. Today he was doing much the same, but with more than his mouth. He was using his lips, his tongue, his cock, and his words. And it was the sound of his voice that was sweeping her away the fastest. God, was he good at this...

"First time I was inside you, I thought I'd died and gone to Heaven. Couldn't believe you wanted me... You're so precious, so special and you wanted me. You have no idea what that meant." Still slow, still gentle... if this was going to work, he'd have to be gentle the whole way through. One false move, one hard thrust and this could all fall apart.

Riley spared Sam a glance and she knew he wasn't speaking just to Buffy now. He'd said much the same thing to her after their first night together. And he meant every word of it. Just like he meant it now.

Her hand moved further down, one fingertip parting Buffy's damp curls. Slipped in between the soft folds and found her center. Sam moaned as she felt Riley slide past her, the taut muscles of his stomach pressed up against her hand for a second and then pulled back. Long, slow drive in - equally slow pull back out. He could keep this up for hours and hours.

Buffy's soft, whimpering cry echoed Sam's moan. Sam's caresses combined with Riley's cock moving within her and the effect of their voices on her was pushing her to the brink again. She held on to the last shreds of her control, not wanting it to end... not yet. Their love was a balm to her wounded heart and battered soul; she wanted to soak up as much as she possibly could before she had no choice but to let it end.

"When you come... the world stops, Buffy. It just stops... there's nothing in it but you. You and me and Sam and this... this long, slow..." Here was the true test, whether she would accept this part of him. If she didn't Riley would miss it and there would be times when he was with Sam and Buffy was somewhere else. But he really wanted to share this with her, wanted her to be a full partner.

Riley hesitated for a moment longer before whispering one word in her ear. The one that had made her flinch earlier. It pushed past his teeth, spiraling into her fevered mind. Riley's voice, not Spike's, Riley's. "fuck..." Soft finish on the last letter, rounding it out as he slid back in again, went as deep as he could go.

Bless Sam. She had the best timing. When he said it, she pressed down on Buffy's clit. Rubbed it between her fingertips and kissed her throat. Right in the center of Angel's mark.

Buffy's shrill cry echoed in the room, the combined sensations triggering her climax. Swept away in a blaze of pleasure, no fear could find a hold on her mind. She trembled, pressed between them; the waves of pleasure surrounding her were as soft and gentle as their treatment of her. As the flood subsided, Buffy felt as if she was floating. She was on cloud nine when she whispered, just barely audible, "Riley, Sam... love you..."

"We love you," Riley whispered, kissing her temple. Much better, that was a much better reaction. Better than he could have hoped for. She was shaking a little but not in fear, never in fear again. Not if he could help it.

Healing was a long and slow process. This was just one step in her journey, a journey that she would not take alone. He and Sam would be with her every step of the way.

"We love you," Sam echoed, stroking Buffy's hip, soothing her with that light touch. So much damage, so many little broken pieces. It was going to take years to fix all of this. Years and every bit of expertise they could muster. But it would be worth it.

Buffy cuddled between them as her body calmed, still soaking up the love and warm, safe feelings that buoyed her soul and kept her afloat. She couldn't imagine anywhere else that she would rather be, and she needed the feelings too much at the moment to feel guilty over the attention being lavished on her. She was not unaware of the force of their concern, but at the moment she was too content to do more than acknowledge it.

She knew that they would likely need to talk things through again at another time, but that was in the back of her mind. Her consciousness was still floating; happy, at peace.

Riley reached behind him and found the edge of the bedspread. He pulled it up as far as he could, draping it over himself and Buffy. Sam did the same on the other side, cocooning the three of them. Warmth spread from their bodies and combined with the sunlight that was starting to hit the bed, Buffy was enfolded in that healing heat.

Slowly, he started to pull back, to pull out of her but her hand on his hip stayed that movement. Riley knew Buffy was spent, her eyes were barely open and her breathing slow but maybe she didn't want to lose that intimate connection. So he stayed where he was, still inside her, his arms around both her and Sam.

There were a lot of things they needed to do today. He had to call Drum, had to make the arrangements for Buffy's enlistment and there was the whole staking Spike thing. That all could wait. Everything could wait until Buffy was ready for him to move.

"Just stay a little while," Buffy whispered slowly, a sated, blissful tone in her voice. "Just a little while longer." She left her hand on his hip and reached her other arm across her body to rest atop Sam's hand, which was still on her hip. Her eyes fluttered closed, but a soft smile of pure happiness lit her features. She knew things had to be done today, too, but she didn't want to break the spell of peace they had cast over her.

At the moment, her world consisted of the three of them and the warmth she felt. And all was right in her world. She wanted to put off going back to the real world for however long she could.

"I'll stay as long as I can," Riley murmured in turn, kissing her neck. He lifted his head and kissed Sam over Buffy's shoulder. A soft, lingering kiss - one that spoke of his devotion to her and his gratitude. This wasn't what he'd envisioned when they'd set out for Sunnydale, hadn't even considered it but now he couldn't imagine it happening any other way.

His words were probably ill chosen, given Buffy's history with men but the significance didn't register with him. Riley was talking about their immediate situation, not the future. Their future was set, maybe not in stone but he'd take care of that later. When she'd had some rest. There were faint circles under her eyes and a gauntness about her that spoke of many sleepless nights and miserable days.

Sam accepted his kiss and returned it with one of her own. She'd never hoped to find something like this. When she'd married Riley, she said goodbye to her past life and her past loves. There would never be another woman in her bed, not for as long as he lived. She knew that when she said her vows and here he'd proven her wrong.

Not only had she gotten Riley but she'd gotten the beautiful ghost that haunted his dreams. The woman whose name he called out in his sleep, his voice filled with sorrow and longing and loss. The longing was still there in his voice when he whispered her name, but the sorrow was gone. There was healing going on here, in this sunlit room, powerful healing. Buffy wasn't the only one with a broken heart, or a broken spirit, and this was healing both of them.

'..as long as I can... as long as I can...' The words swirled through Buffy's mind in an unending circle, shaking her out of her peace and waking her up fully. She opened her eyes, trying to banish the words that haunted her, only to see Sam and Riley kissing above her. Her eyes slowly filled with tears and she closed them again, shrinking in on herself. **They'll stay as long as they can... and then leave me again, like everyone always does...**

Despite the warmth surrounding her she began to shiver again, drawing her hands away from them to cross over her chest in an attempt to comfort herself. Tears escaped her closed eyes and began to slowly slide down her cheeks. **They have each other, they don't need me. Why did I ever fool myself into believing that they would always be here?**

He felt her draw away, felt her curl up in on herself and broke out of the kiss immediately. Riley cupped her cheek, wiping away tears with his thumb, stunned to find them there. What they'd just done was amazing but not so amazing that he thought it would cause tears.

No. That's not what was going on here. Buffy was hurt, very hurt and he racked his brain to think what might have caused it. His own words came back and Riley knew. He knew what he'd done wrong. "Buffy... sweetheart. I'm not leaving you, we're not leaving you. I promise."

She opened her eyes slowly and in them he could see the loss, could see the betrayal and the pain. Everyone in her life left her, she'd told them that last night. It was her most deep-seated fear. Being alone. That's why she turned to Spike, so she wouldn't be alone anymore.

"Buffy, I was... God, I don't want to offend you, not after we'd made such progress." The blush was back, it hadn't been there during the seduction but it was in full force now. His face flushed and hot, Riley stumbled into the explanation. "I was talking about my dick. It'll only stay up so long."

If Riley wasn't so embarrassed and if Buffy hadn't been so hurt by his off-hand comment, Sam would have found this funny. Her husband explaining the mechanics of male sexuality to a tiny girl who barely looked old enough to be date boys, let alone sleep with them.

Rather than laugh, she stroked Buffy's arm and her hip. Kissed her shoulder, her hair and then below he ear. "We won't leave you. Ry's gonna make it a condition of your recruitment. We stay here to train you and when you're ready, then we'll go, okay?" It wasn't the deal that Drum had offered but he was going to have to live with it. If they were going to get the Slayer, if they were going to get Buffy, allowances would have to be made.

Buffy took a deep breath as they calmed her fears. She had overreacted, again, but she didn't seem to be able to help her reactions with them. She had always felt it necessary for the good of a relationship to be honest in her reactions, and that ideal had taken hold of her again to the point where she had trouble preventing it when it even occurred to her that she could.

Opening her eyes to look up at them, Buffy's eyes were pleading. "You promise?" She shook her head slightly. "I don't care about rings and symbols or anything like that, just promise me you won't leave... please?" She bit her lip lightly and waited for their answer, not fearfully but with worry clouding her dark eyes. Eyes that still shimmered with tears that had not yet completely vanished, but were no longer threatening to fall.

"You know what it means, Buffy? You won't be a part-time operative. You'd have to be full-time. It's what we do." There was a lock of hair in her eyes Riley smoothed away as he spoke. As he asked the difficult questions Sam didn't. Her promise was rash but it was one that he agreed with. Buffy was too unstable for them to leave her for any length of time. "It means you won't see Dawn a lot. I'll talk to the brass and see if we can make Sunnydale our base of operations."

The tears were still there and they broke his heart but there were realities that they had to deal with. Some of them could be pretty harsh. He didn't want to tie her down to promises made in a bedroom. Wanted to give her a way out if she needed it. Buffy hadn't had a lot of honesty in her life and Riley was determined to change that. "It's not an easy life. We can't promise you an easy life... But if you want us, if you want this, we can promise that we'll be together. Even if I have to buck it all the way up the chain of command."

Buffy saw the intensity in Riley's eyes, the need for her to understand. So instead of just accepting what he said, she gave it some thought. Serious thought. "I'm not afraid of a hard life. Try living mine for the past six years," her tone was wry, but still serious. Honest. But Buffy knew that she couldn't just think of herself, anymore. She had to consider her sister too, and that put a damper on what she could agree to.

With a deep breath and a long sigh, she spoke again. "I guess I can only agree if they'll allow us to make Sunnydale our main base. I can't be gone all the time; I can't abandon Dawn. She's already been feeling lost and alone, and if I left..." She shook her head. "If it comes down to my peace or Dawn's, I have to choose hers. I can't leave her to break as badly as I have... I can't." Looking up at them, she knew they understood.

They might not like it, but Buffy was Dawn's guardian. She had to look out for her sister's needs before her own.

"I know. She's your first priority and we're not going to take you away from her. Let me see what I can work out. Drum's tough but he's fair and he's been looking for a good training ground. The Hellmouth's the best choice I can think of." He turned his head, looking for a phone. There was one sitting on the nightstand, out of reach for right now. And Drum was still in briefings.

Once the phone was located, Riley focused on Buffy again. Looked her right in the eye, complete disclosure was the only was to go here, "No matter what they say. No matter what we work out, I love you. We love you. We won't leave you unless we have to and I promise we'll come back as soon as we can."

"Thank you," Buffy whispered, nodding her acceptance. She could live with that. Her heart may break a little every time they left, but as long as they came back she would heal again. It was not what she wanted, but she could accept it if necessity made it the only choice. She knew she would never be able to survive being left alone again, permanently. But as long as they continued to come back, she would cope.

"You will always have a place here, always, every time you come back. Will... will we be able to keep in touch, if you do have to leave?" It hurt a little to ask, but she needed to know. She needed to hear from them, to know they were still alive and well, and still coming back.

"E-mail and I'll make sure you have all our numbers." Silent for a long time, Sam finally spoke again. She knew she'd over-stepped her bounds with the promises she'd made and Riley was probably going to dress her down for it but she couldn't watch her lover in pain. Not when there was a way they could fix it.

And it would hurt every time they left her behind. She knew it and Riley knew it. All Sam had to do was look at his face and she could see the pain lurking there. Even as he combed Buffy's hair back and kissed her. Kissed her fiercely and with passion and a great deal more force than Sam thought was wise, given Buffy's fragile condition.

He didn't want to leave her. God, he'd do anything to keep from leaving her. But he was a soldier, his duty came before his heart. There were lives to be saved, lives of people he'd never even met and he couldn't shirk that responsibility. There was bitterness in his mouth at the thought and he tried to wipe it away by kissing Buffy. By losing himself in her softness.

It was probably the wrong thing to do, probably the worst thing he could do... But he wanted her to know - as hard as this was for her - it was just as hard for him. He'd found her again, tasted her again, been with her again and he never, never wanted to let her go.

Buffy responded to the passion in his kiss, unable to not, and kissed him back. But the force in it was too great for her to handle and she pushed on his shoulders until he released her. She could see the flash of guilt in his eyes as he drew back, but she wouldn't let him go far. She buried her face in his neck and wrapped her arms around him, clinging to him tightly.

She leaned back, drawing him with her, until her back rested against Sam's chest and the three of them were as close together as she could manage. By design, the embrace was comforting and not sexual. They needed to talk about this, and a distraction would not do them any good. It hurt, hurt them all, but they needed to get through it in order to be happy. And Buffy wanted that happiness, craved it, needed it. Almost as much as she wanted and needed them, her loves and lovers.

"I'm sorry," Riley murmured into her hair. He said nothing else, simply closed his eyes and tried to shut down his mind and his body. God, he didn't want to leave her. He didn't want to leave. He'd rather die than leave her.

Gentle hands soothed him, both Buffy's and Sam's, stroking his back and his arms. Neither of them knew how close he was to tears. And they never would know. Not if he could help it. Buffy had enough burdens in her life and they both needed him to be strong.

"Shhh... you don't have to be sorry, Riley. It's okay. We'll make it work, and someday we'll be able to be together always." Buffy might not know how close he was to tears, but she knew he was hurting and she soothed him as best she could. Gentle words, gentle touches, her body a soft cradle for him to lean on. It was the only thing she knew to do, the best comfort she could think to give.

And even though he would never think of it, it was far easier for her to be strong for him than for herself or anyone else. With the possible exception of Sam, though Sam didn't seem to need her strength so that theory may never be proven. They all had each other to lean on, and Buffy hoped that things would only get better for them.

Riley nodded and blinked back his tears, swallowed them as best he could. His voice was thick and heavy when he spoke again, a dead giveaway to Sam who had seen him at his absolute lowest. "We'll make it work. When Dawn's old enough, you can always come with us."

Sam could count on the fingers of one hand the times she'd seen Riley cry. The worst had been in one of the villages in Sumatra. He'd found a little girl, probably no older than three, who'd been left out as a sacrifice. There hadn't been any monsters, hadn't been anything for her to be sacrificed to and the tiny child died of exposure. He picked her body up and carried her back to base camp and wouldn't talk to anyone. Just sat there with that little body and cried.

There were terrible things they ran across in their work and not all of them were done by demons. Had Sam been in charge, she would have burned the village to the ground. When she suggested it, Riley shook his head. He buried the little girl, said prayers over her grave and then ordered the choppers in to lift them out.

Her husband wasn't a vindictive man, he felt things very deeply but he wasn't in the corps for revenge.

She held Buffy close and stroked Riley's hair. Sam wasn't going to draw attention to his tears. If he wanted to cry, he could cry and she wouldn't think any less of him for it.

Buffy might not have ever seen him cry, but she knew the sound of a voice choked by tears when she heard it. In the softest voice imaginable, her lips right next to his ear, Buffy whispered very softly, "It's okay... you don't have to hold back, love. We're here for you, no matter what." He'd held her while she cried and let her know that it was okay; she could do the same for him, and would do it in a heartbeat.

She kissed his temple and crooned softly to him, smoothing his hair with gentle fingers. In her concern for him, she never noticed the endearment that slipped from her lips so easily. But she would remember it later, when she thought back on this time, and reflect that at certain times, some things just came so easily.

A few tears trickled down his cheek, wetting the pillow beneath it. Riley held them both close, as close as he could. Breathed in Buffy's scent, felt Sam's hands on his back and let them comfort him. Just as he would comfort them when the time came. He'd told Buffy once that it was all right for her to break down, for her to let it out. How could he deny himself what he'd asked of her. "I love you. Both of you. Always will."

When he kissed Buffy again, it was gently, leaving behind a trace of sorrow and salt. Slid slowly out of her body, easing back as gently as he could. Riley lifted his head and kissed his wife, felt her brush the remaining tears away. There could be no doubt now that the thought of leaving Buffy was as painful to him as their leaving was painful to her.

It was in the future though. They had at least a week with her now and they were going to enjoy it. Sam was bound and determined that they were going to have some fun. Even if she had to drag them along, kicking and screaming. Once they took care of business today, she was going to find something interesting and non-lethal for them to do.

 
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