Title: Bring Me Into the Light
AUTHOR: Mistress Ace & Em
E-MAIL: rosewood@inreach.com & winter@sapphire-dragon.net
FEEDBACK: Is the butter on our bread. We write because the story begs to be told. Feedback lets us know if we struck a chord with you.
DISTRIBUTION: Our site, for the moment. When we post fully edited chapters, those can be posted elsewhere. RATING: NC-17
CATEGORY: Story: Romance, Angst
SPOILERS: As You Were
PAIRINGS: B/R/Sam, m/f, f/f
DISCLAIMER: Don't own the characters at all. (More's the pity) They belong to the Great God Joss Whedon et al. We are just borrowing them for a little bit. That's all. No BtVS characters were harmed in the writing of this fic. Well, maybe just a little.
SUMMARY: Not back for long enough. Not nearly long enough and there were too many things left up in the air. But isn't that the purpose of fan-fiction?
 

Chapter 43

Riley woke before the alarm went off. The sky was just starting to lighten, the deep shadows of the room changing from formless mass to the definite outline of furniture and the glassy screen of the TV. No disorientation this morning. There were two other bodies in bed with him and he knew exactly who they were.

Both Buffy and Sam were curled up on their sides, each of them facing away. He eased his arms out from underneath their shoulders and sat up slowly. Riley ran his hand through his hair, contemplating the wisdom of letting Buffy sleep. It was a little after 4 in the morning and they would have to leave by 5 to make it to the base on time. He could let her sleep... leave enough money for a cab and let her enjoy the luxury of a room to herself but that whole idea struck him as being pretty damned cold.

And considering her history, it was cold. Not going there, they were not going there. She'd get a proper goodbye, not another case of his sneaking off into the night.

They had a few more minutes so he was content to let them continue sleeping. Without disturbing either of them, Riley slipped out from underneath the covers and carefully got out of bed. Sam rolled over onto her back but didn't awaken.

Once free of the bed, Riley made use of the bathroom, washed his face and hands before returning to the main room. He dropped to the floor and started his morning routine. Sit-ups first, seventy-five reps and then push-ups. Nice and slow, working up to a steady burn. There wasn't enough time for a run, not nearly enough time so he'd have to be happy with this.

Buffy murmured softly in her sleep and rolled over as her body registered the lack of a warm body in bed with her. Her movement brought her into proximity of Sam, though, and she settled back into sleep with a soft sigh. Her eyelids flickered as she dreamed, but her expression was peaceful so there was no reason for concern.

The first thing Sam noticed was that Riley was gone. She stirred, her hand coming to rest on Buffy's back as she sat up, looking for her husband. After a moment or two, she heard him counting out reps, heard the slight grunt as he worked out and couldn't contain the smile. Riley Finn was a creature of habit and morning workouts were gospel to him.

Peering over the side of the bed, she spotted him. Not his usual attire for morning calisthenics. It was really different watching him do push-ups in the nude. Rippling muscle and acres of tanned skin and... he really did have a great ass.

A touch on her back where before there had been none was what got Buffy's attention. Instincts pulled her mind to partial awareness enough to determine that there was no threat. Instincts satisfied, she let herself slowly surface from her dream. After a few moments, she recognized the feel of Sam's hand, and let her mind drift. She simply took in information from her various senses and waited quietly until her mind woke enough to function.

Sam leaned over and whispered into Buffy's ear, "Morning, love. Thought you might want to see this." She stroked her lover's back gently while she watched Riley continue.

Sweat trickled down his back as he pushed himself harder. Since the run wasn't an option, he'd content himself with more reps. Arms straight, knees locked, back a perfect line. So into what he was doing, he had no idea that he currently had an audience.

Buffy blinked at Sam and moved to look in the same direction. Hazel eyes went wide when she saw Riley doing his exercises in the altogether. She'd been aware that he was exercising, but not that he'd chosen to do so nude. But mmm, God, what a picture he made. Muscles flexing, body held tight and straight... he looked good enough to eat, and she was tempted. But she knew that time was limited and told herself to behave.

They both watched Riley for a minute or two before Sam lifted Buffy's chin and kissed her. A gentle kiss, not one meant to incite either of them even though the sight of Riley was definitely incendiary material. "Good morning," she murmured, brushing a stray lock of hair out of Buffy's eyes.

Last rep and Riley heard Sam's sleepy greeting. He looked over his shoulder, catching them in the middle of a sweet kiss. Quite the sight - his beautiful wife with her dark cloud of hair tousled around her shoulders and Buffy... her pale skin luminous in the pre-dawn light as she leaned into that light touch.

Lucky man. He was an incredibly lucky man.

"Morning," Buffy greeted in return, her voice hazy and a little raspy. Her arms lifted and wrapped lightly around Sam, hugging softly. Awake enough to keep things light, but still languid enough from sleep to not feel like moving much yet. Slayers were definitely not morning people, and Buffy was no exception.

"Morning to both of you," Riley said easily, getting to his feet. He leaned over and kissed Sam and then Buffy. Light kisses, just enough to let them know he wished there was time for more. "I'm going to grab a shower. Be back in a few."

That was a cue if Sam ever heard one. Quiet order for her to get up without actually saying it. "We'll be ready by the time you get out, Ry." She'd catch a quick rinse after the bags were packed. A longer shower could wait until later. Right now, she wanted every spare second she could have with Buffy.

"You guys don't have to wait for me, anyway," Buffy added softly. "If you have to leave, I can walk home..." But even as she spoke, Buffy was stretching her body out in preparation for getting up. She arched like a cat, her arms rising above her head and her legs lifting slightly off the bed.

Watching Buffy move was almost as nice as watching Riley move. Sam was content to do both or either. She admired the line of Buffy's back and from the tiny sound Riley made, he was apparently doing the same thing. A quick glance at his face confirmed it.

"I know you can walk home," Riley said after clearing his suddenly tight throat. Like hell he was going to let her walk home. "But we've got time. The base is only about thirty minutes away. We might even have time to grab breakfast."

They could stop at a drive-through and get something quick. Seeing Drum on an empty stomach was not high on his priorities right now. When Sam nodded in confirmation, Riley turned on his heel and left the room. The sound of the shower started almost immediately.

"Mmm... breakfast sounds good." Buffy let her body go limp again and relaxed for another couple of moments. Her body was telling her that it was too early to get up, but she ignored it as well as she could and pushed herself into a sitting position. "Mmph. I dunno how he can be so chipper at this hour..."

"Many years of practice. He says it's because of spending his summers working his grand-parents' farm. I personally think he's always been that way." It was Sam's turn to stretch and work out all the little kinks. She threw back to covers and rose to her feet. To Buffy's surprise, Sam followed Riley's example and started her own exercises. Stretches first, followed by sit-ups. "I... have... trouble... keeping... up with... him."

Hot water cascading down his back, washing away the last residue of their earlier activities. Riley hated doing it but the last thing he needed would be Miller breathing down his neck and asking him why he smelled like he'd been on a three-day bender. Not the alcohol type, the sex type... something he hadn't done for a very long time.

Quick scrub of his body with soap and an equally quick washing of his hair. Riley slicked the water out of his eyes as he thought about the last few days. The world was always changing. One minute you were up, the next you were down. Right now... he was on an up-swing that had no signs of stopping.

Buffy leaned over the side of the bed and picked Mr. Gordo up of the floor, then sat and watched Sam exercise. Training took care of Buffy's exercise needs, so she didn't have a morning routine like this. "So do I, at this hour, in more ways than one... but I'm sure you do fine. You kept up awfully well during the fight the other night. Better than me, in some ways, 'cause I've fought solo for quite a while now."

A little stunned by the compliment, Sam halted in mid sit-up. Not something she'd ever expected to hear from the Slayer. "Thank you," she said simply, not knowing what else to add. Having her personal hero notice that she was good at what she did meant a lot to Sam. Buffy was still a legend to her, someone she looked up to.

"You're welcome," Buffy answered. She was curious about Sam's apparent surprise over her comment, and decided to ask. "Can I ask why you seem so surprised about that?" Sam carried herself in every situation with an air of supreme confidence and competence... why would she be surprised that Buffy had noticed?

"Remember when I called you a legend? I meant it. You're the best I've ever seen, the absolute best... And you think I'm good." Sam shook her head, pushing herself up off the floor. Confidence only went so far and after watching Buffy work with Riley, Sam knew just how much she still had to learn.

"You are good." Buffy set down her pig and slid off the bed. "Sammie, all slayers are legends. The very idea of a slayer is a legend, and so are most of the demons we fight. I'm as good a fighter as I am because of what I am. I didn't work for it, Sam, it was handed to me. My only real accomplishment was staying alive as long as I did and bucking the system by having friends and a life."

She shook her head and took Sam's hand. "Your accomplishments are much more worthy of praise. You've become as strong and as skilled as you are on your own, by hard work. I didn't have to, it's just how I am. Being born this way doesn't make me entitled to any kind of admiration."

The words were out of her mouth before Buffy stopped to wonder if she was doing the lack of self-confidence thing again. But she didn't really care, either. She hadn't said anything that wasn't the truth.

"You've faced things I can't even imagine, Buffy. All those things you told us about... Putting a sword through the man you love. I could never do that." The shower had stopped, reminding Sam of Riley's presence in the other room. She never would have found the courage to do what Buffy did. "I'd let the world end rather than hurt him. You wouldn't... That makes you a hero. My hero."

Buffy had a denial on her lips, but the look Sam gave her stopped the flow of words before it began. Made her stop and really think about what Sam was saying. How many people would've done what she did to save the world? Buffy had always assumed that anyone would do it, because it was the only choice. But maybe that wasn't true. Maybe doing what she'd done did make her strong.

"I only did what I had to do, Sam. Sacrifice one person that I loved, or sacrifice everyone that I loved? In the end, there was no choice. Either he and I would suffer, or everyone would. And how could I condemn millions of innocent people to hell on earth?"

"I know you couldn't. That's what makes you special, makes you strong. All I'm saying is if it was me and Ry, I'm not sure I could do it." She cupped Buffy's chin and moved closer. "You made the ultimate sacrifice. Not losing your life... but taking the life of someone you loved with all your heart. There's not many people who could do that."

"I... I guess I never thought about it that way. Everyone seemed to expect me to be able to do it, so I assumed they would've done it too, in my place..." And there certainly had been a lot of anger and accusations waiting for her when she got back at the end of the summer. But... did any of her friends really know what she'd gone through? Did they really understand?

"It's easy to die saving the world, Buffy. It's not easy killing to save it." Sam's fingertips traced along Buffy's brow, then down her cheek. She hoped she'd never have to face some of the things this amazing young woman had been made to face. And she'd never let Buffy take for granted the sacrifices she'd already made for the sake of the world. A world that barely knew she existed.

"I know," Buffy whispered. "But it's part of what I do. If I didn't, who would?" And that was the real issue. The world needed a Slayer. By some twist of fate, there were currently two... but one languished in prison, and couldn't be trusted anyway. So there still was effectively only one... and she could only wish for the chance to pass on the burden someday.

"No one. There's no one else who can do the things you do. Other than Faith and she's due to be the guest of the California penal system for a long time to come." Honest to a fault, Sam couldn't deny the reality of Buffy's situation. The only thing she could do was help. "That's why we're here. We can't do what you do but we can help. And you can teach us how to be better at it."

That set Buffy back mentally and she blinked up at Sam, surprise coloring her expression. "Me? Teach you?" She shook her head. "From what I've seen, your units work better together than I ever have. I might be a better individual fighter, but I hope to God you never have to face situations that force you to do what I've done... that's what your teams are for, I thought."

"Not to hear Riley tell it. He puts you up as the example for all of us. Says you're the best tactician he's ever met." Sam took a seat next to Buffy, tilting her own head up for a minute as she studied the ceiling. "Half our squad are old Initiative guys and they remember you from then. Did you really use one of them as a shield against a tazer blast?"

Riley's chuckle alerted them to his quiet presence in the doorway. "Yeah, she really did. It took him almost four hours to recover and you should have heard Forrest bitching about getting thrown around by a girl. It was a popular theme with him for almost a week. Gray thought you were awesome... still does for that matter."

Buffy laughed softly. "Does he, really? Huh, I never knew that. It was kind of fun, though. They all underestimated me, you know. It's my one huge advantage against guys. Or demons, for that matter."

And it was... she was the power of the Slayer in a tiny package. More than just guys tended to dismiss her threat potential with a single glance, and the truth was that she could throw most of them several yards away.

"True, we did underestimate you. You were always full of surprises... Slayer training... Good time had by all." While he was back to speaking in clipped sentences, his voice and eyes were warm. And there was a smile of his face. "Sam... quick shower, honey. I'll take care of the packing."

Time was passing swiftly, Sam shot a look at the clock and nodded. Before leaving the bed, she gave Buffy one last kiss. "I won't be long."

Buffy nodded. "We'll be here." With a soft sigh, she got up to look for her bag. If they were going to take her home, she needed to get dressed too. The closer they got to time to leave, the heavier Buffy's spirits got. She tried her best not to show it, though, and instead kept herself busy thinking about other things.

Riley dressed quickly and quietly, pulling his clothes on with a minimum of fuss. He watched Buffy as she went through the same motions, pulling on fresh clothes and trying to keep busy. She was looking more fragile by the minute, avoiding eye contact as she packed her bag.

When she reached for Mr. Gordo, he beat her to it. Riley picked up the plush little pig and held onto it for a minute. She finally looked up at him and his heart broke a little. Brave, she was trying to be brave. "Hey. We'll come back as soon as we can. Get in, get the job done, get out... come back to you. I swear."

"I know," she told him softly. "I trust you. I just... I wish I could go with you." It was taking everything she had not to break down, but she would save that for when she got home. Right now, she needed to look up at him with dry eyes and let him know that she believed in him. When he held out her pig to return it to her, she stepped around his outstretched arm and slid her arms around his waist. Hugged him tight, her head on his chest.

"Next time you will." Riley wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. The little pig was forgotten for the moment, held negligently in one hand while the other smoothed up and down her back. "I'll insist on it."

And he would. They'd never make her go through this again. Buffy had been left behind far too many times. Riley swore silently that he would move heaven and earth to keep her from having to go through that again. No more abandonments, not while he still had breath in his body.

"Thank you," she murmured. Buffy hugged him tighter for the briefest of moments, then released him. Not because she wanted to, but because she knew that if she didn't let go now she wouldn't be able to. **Have to be strong,** she told herself. **One more time, be strong... for them.**

When she let him go, he gave up custody of Mr. Gordo. Riley watched as she packed the little pig away along with her pink nightgown. She stooped to pick up a light green pair of lacy underwear but he snagged it first. "This I'd like to keep, if you don't mind?"

Sam shut off the water to the shower and dried herself off. She could hear Riley and Buffy talking in the other room, their voices low and quiet. That was a sound she could get used to. Moving through the bathroom, she gathered up the majority of their personal items and tucked them into the toiletry bag on the counter. Sam brushed her hair, secured it back with pins before opening the bathroom door.

Buffy blinked at Riley, looking at the pair of panties in his hand. Then she began to giggle, very softly. "Sure, if you want to. I have plenty of underwear at home," she replied between giggles. Of all the things he could've asked for, she had a pretty good idea why he chose that. But part of her wondered if he hadn't also been trying to make her laugh... if so, he'd succeeded.

It worked. She was smiling. Blushing a little but definitely smiling. Riley folded up the tiny garment and tucked it into his pocket, making sure it was completely put away. A pair of lacy underwear peeping out of his pocket was something he really didn't want to explain to his commanding officer. "Thanks... I just wanted something of yours to take with me."

A cloud of steam followed Sam out of the room. She found Riley and Buffy grinning at each other, obviously sharing a joke of some kind. They looked completely at ease with one another which was a good thing. A very good thing.

"Well, you're welcome to them, if that's what you want," Buffy shook her head, still smiling. She checked her bag to be sure she had all her things, and nodded. She pulled out the bottle with her medication, her vitamins, toothbrush and hair brush and said, "Be right back," before she disappeared into the bathroom.

The Finns shared a look, Sam's eyebrow lifted but she didn't ask what she'd missed. While she took care of getting dressed, Riley finished packing their bags. He checked in and around the bed, picking up the glass he'd knocked over the night before. Luckily its contents had been mostly ice so they shouldn't have a problem with housekeeping.

It didn't take long to get the room set to rights. Riley pulled back the drapes in time to catch the sunrise. The sky was ablaze with light, red fading into pink and midnight blue. Sam joined him at the window, wrapping her arm around his waist. "Beautiful, isn't it?" she asked.

"Very. Every sunrise in Sunnydale is. Especially when you're lucky enough to see it." There were hundreds of people in Sunnydale who'd lived to see another sunrise because of the girl in their bathroom. The one they loved with a devotion that bordered on obsession at this point.

Hair brushed, teeth brushed, and pills taken, Buffy emerged from the bathroom. She dropped her things into her bag and joined the others beside the window. "It's so pretty... you know, I don't think I've ever seen the sunrise from this side of bedtime before..."

"Mmmm-hmmm, let's hope we get to see a lot of them from this side of sleep." Riley's other arm slid around her waist pulling her in tight. He kissed her forehead, smiling when she leaned into him. Together they stood at the window until the sun was over the horizon.

So many things to do and right now all he wanted was to stand right here. Stand between them and hold onto them and never left go. But his duty called, Sam's duty called and they needed to answer. Riley squeezed them one last time before letting go. "It's time."

With a sigh and a nod, Buffy hugged them both tightly before moving away. She knew better than to test the limits of her self control, right now. It was better that she keep her distance for the moment, otherwise she might not be able to prevent a scene before they left. Going over to the bed, she zipped up her bag and slung it over her shoulder.

Riley picked up the remote beside the TV and used the check-out function. While he took care of that last detail, Sam did a final sweep of the room. She found a few condom wrappers, which she tossed into the trash, as well as one of Riley's socks. That got tucked into one of the bags.

He hefted one bag onto his shoulder and grabbed two others. Sam took care of the remaining bag, leaving the card key before the TV. Together they trooped out of the room with Riley in the lead.

Outside the door, they ran into a startled guest who eyed Riley and the two women with him. An older man, probably in his mid-thirties and the look he gave Riley was sly, full of innuendo. In return, he got a glimpse of a set jaw and a stare that could have melted glass. Clear warning that what he was thinking was none of his damned business.

The walk out to the SUV was a quiet one. Buffy was keeping to herself in order to remain in control. She assumed that Sam and Riley were as preoccupied as she was and simply didn't comment on it. She watched as Riley unlocked the doors and they stowed their luggage, then looked away as she felt tears start to form in her eyes.

There were very few people out at this hour of the morning, so they stood in the parking lot alone. Buffy almost found herself regretting that there weren't people around, because it was harder to hide her feelings when there was no outside incentive to do so.

Once the luggage was put away, Riley turned back toward Buffy and saw she was facing away. Doing the brave thing again, trying to hide her feelings.

Two steps and his arms were around her, turning Buffy until she faced him instead of the rest of the parking lot. His breath condensed above her head, a white cloud that drifted away from them. Without saying a word, he held her tight and felt the tears soaking through his heavy turtleneck. Another piece of his heart tore open, leaving him bleeding inside.

Sam debated between giving them privacy and joining in the hug. The look on Riley's face told her privacy was best. She quietly turned her back and scanned the parking lot, counting the poles and the cars and examining a dark shadow at the corner of the building.

Buffy clung to Riley until she could halt the flow of tears. It was a struggle, but she managed to do it. When she looked up, pain-filled eyes looked huge when paired with her carefully controlled expression. "I'm sorry. Maybe... maybe I should just go home before I make you late..."

Catching sight of Sam, who was pointedly not paying attention to them, Buffy felt the urge to cry again. Instead, she pushed her emotions deep down and called out to Sam. They all needed to be together for the little time they had left.

Turning around at the sound of her name, Sam closed the distance between them. She enfolded both Riley and Buffy in her embrace. Held them close and kissed Buffy's hair, her cheek and finally Riley's mouth. Riley tasted tears but declined to comment. He knew Buffy was crying and when he pulled back to look at Sam, she was crying too. "No. We are taking you home. You won't make us late."

Buffy nodded, not trusting her voice enough to reply. God, why did this have to be so hard? Tears spilled from her eyes again before she could prevent them, and she pressed her face against Sam's shoulder while she struggled with herself again.

"But we do have to go," Riley said quietly. The time was passing far too quickly and while he wished he had the power to make time stand still, he knew he didn't have it. One last kiss on Buffy's forehead and he was pulling them toward the passenger doors. He opened the back and watched silently while both Buffy and Sam piled in.

Not wanting to let go of her for even a moment, Sam settled into the seat and sighed when Buffy curled up next to her. She did take long enough to buckle them both in while Riley took the driver's seat.

Buffy's head rested on Sam's shoulder, her arms wrapped around Sam's waist. Her tears had stopped again, but sorrow hung like a cloud around all of them. Buffy could feel her emotions echoed in Sam; felt it in the arms that held her tightly, tasted it in the tears that mingled on their faces when they'd kissed. Bitter and heartbreaking... and there was absolutely nothing they could do about it.

The drive back to Buffy's wasn't long at all. Riley kept glancing into the rear-view mirror and every time he did, he wished he hadn't. Sam and Buffy were wound tightly around each other, holding on for dear life. He had to hold onto the knowledge that they would return, that they would make it back safe and in a few days time, the tears in Buffy's eyes would be replaced by laughter. And desire and not desperation would motivate the kisses that she and Sam shared.

Pulling into Buffy's driveway, he left the engine running. Bowed his head down and prayed for a quick return to this house. To their home.

Buffy felt the car stop and knew that it was time to go. If she didn't, they would be late. And she couldn't let that happen. "I'd better go," she whispered to Sam. Squeezed tighter, stopping just short of painful, then reluctantly sat up. "Would you do me a favor, please?" She unbuckled her seatbelt and angled herself so that she could see both of them. The despair she felt was echoed in their eyes, and her heart tore a little more.

"Anything," Riley was the one who responded, mainly because Sam could not. She was wiping at her eyes and trying to pull herself back together.

"Call me before you leave, if you have a chance? Oh, and I'll have Willow e-mail you with my e-mail address..." Buffy's voice wavered and her emotions threatened to overwhelm her. Once more, she shoved the feelings back down inside her and reached out to them. Found their hands with hers and held on tightly, refusing to acknowledge the thought that this might be the last time she would ever touch them.

"We'll do that," His voice was thick and the words were hard to get out. Riley squeezed her hand as he turned completely around in the driver's seat and brought it to his mouth. "I love you. We love you."

Sam nodded, kissing Buffy's hand and then her cheek. She whispered in her ear. "Be strong. Be safe. We'll do the same."

"I will, I promise," she answered softly. She turned her head to kiss Sam's cheek, then her lips briefly. She did the same to Riley, pulling back before either of them could reach for her. "I'll be thinking of you... be careful, please. Don't let worries about me distract you... I'll be here safe when you get back." Buffy's voice broke and she had to stop. She closed her eyes and bit her lip.

This was being much harder than she'd ever thought it could be. Opening her eyes to look at them one last time, she whispered, "I love you," then turned to the door to let herself out.

Riley met her at the back of the SUV, which he opened and handed over her bag. He pulled her into a final hard embrace, dipped his head down and claimed the scar on her neck with his mouth. She'd gotten that saving the life of someone she loved and Riley no longer saw it as a mark of Angel's possession of her. Instead it was a silent testament to what Buffy would do when she loved someone.

Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him, a sound halfway between a sob and a moan escaped her and her knees went weak. She felt his claim on her and knew that it would hold them together through this separation. "I love you," she whispered into his ear as he held her.

"I love you," was his quiet reply as he held her so tight a normal person's ribs would have cracked. Riley didn't want to let her go but he had to. The sooner he did and they got to the mission, the sooner they would get back. "We'll be back," he repeated one last time before letting her go.

"I know you will. Soon." Buffy stood on her toes and kissed him one last time before releasing him. Removing temptation, she walked across the yard to the front steps. There, she stopped and turned back to watch them go. Sam had moved into the front seat and Riley was getting back into the driver's seat. When they were both looking at her once more, she blew them kisses.

She knew there were tears on her face again, but she let them fall and gave her lovers a brave smile at the same time. She was a picture of mingled emotions, and one more memory to remind all three what it was that they fought for.

Sam waved but Riley did something surprising. He straightened up in his seat and snapped off a salute. Silent acknowledgment of her as his superior even if Buffy didn't know what that meant.

He held the salute for a moment, watching her the whole time. That moment was broken when he lowered his hand, looked over his shoulder and backed the vehicle out of the driveway. **Eyes front,** he told himself. **She's got enough to deal with without seeing you cry. They both do.**

Buffy stood there in shock, her mind whirling with the meaning inherent in Riley's salute, as she watched the SUV back out of the drive. Her mind went back to the time she spent as part of the initiative, and she'd seen Graham and several of the others salute Riley that way. Which was right, because he was their commander. But now..? Buffy wasn't even officially part of the military yet... still, that signal could only mean one thing.

She decided that she would have to ask him about it later. She'd send him an e-mail or something. Right now... right now, all she wanted to do was curl up in bed and cry. She admitted that to herself as she watched them drive away. Stood there on the sidewalk until they turned a corner and she couldn't see them anymore. Then she went inside.

Straight to her room, struggling to keep herself under control. She made it to her bedroom before the tears started again. Door closed, she rescued Mr. Gordo from her overnight bag and curled up on her bed. This time, there was no stopping; she cried her heart out. Cried from the loneliness, desolation, and fear in her heart.

*****

 
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