Takes place directly after "Hell's Bells" (6th season)

It was one of those weird days where it switched from thunder and lightning to sun and then back again. Pouring in a way it didn't usually in sunny, southern California. Riley found it refreshing, especially after a long day of trying to convince Command that the influx of demons in the vicinity of the Bison's Lodge was not something to be overly concerned about. He wasn't even officially on assignment yet but they had called him after panicked reports started coming in from all over town. It wasn't like he had anything better to do.

After leaving the Base, he had come back to the hotel to change and then gone out for a long run. He had been away for over a year and it was hard to believe he was really back. He was slowly taking everything in; trying not to get overwhelmed by the memories. The hotel had seemed like a good idea two days ago, when he arrived back in town – they were still using Lowell for housing and he just couldn't go back there – but now he was thinking that sitting around the kitchen with a bunch of rowdy soldiers on a Saturday night would have been much better than an empty hotel room. He looked at his watch – 11:15. Great, only seven hours of tossing and turning before getting up again. Soaking wet from sweat and rain, he crossed the lobby to the elevators, leaning against the wall as he waited.

A woman came up behind him. As she pressed the button, she turned, her long brown hair falling over her shoulder. "Interesting time for a run."

With the exception of Buffy, he had always been partial to brunettes. He responded guardedly, "Late night."

"Late nights can be good." She ran her hand through her hair and smiled suggestively. "Can I buy you a drink?"

How could they tell? Could they smell it in his blood? He straightened up uneasily and glanced around him. He had no interest in being stuck with her in an elevator, especially without a stake. (Memo to self: you're back in Sunnydale. Carry weapons at all times.) His voice was cold. "Sorry, you're not my type."

She stepped in much closer than any stranger had a right to and whispered in his ear, "If you change your mind..." She ran one finger down his neck stopping at the scar and smiled wickedly before walking away. She didn't need to turn back to know he watched her walk into the hotel bar.

He had broken that habit, but the twinges were still there. He sank back against the wall and closed his eyes. The Sunnydale Welcome Wagon; like nothing else on earth. The bell rang as the elevator doors opened. He glanced at the bar, figuring he had just enough time to run upstairs to grab a stake and dry clothes. The elevator doors were almost shut before Riley registered what he had seen.

He stuck his hand out, pushing the doors open again, and stepped out. Was that...? He walked slowly across the hall, into the bar, keeping his eyes on the woman and her new target. She had leaned in and was saying something when Riley put his hand on her shoulder and pulled her off the barstool. "Go away now."

She practically hissed at him but didn't resist. She glared as she walked away.

Riley was torn between following her and staying at the bar. "Xander?" he asked. "You o.k.?"

Xander was staring into his drink. He glanced up but barely registered Riley's presence.

Riley sat down and motioned to the bartender. "Whatever he's having." He looked around. The woman was already gone; Riley hoped she was the kind who went for money, not death. He didn't want something else on his conscience but he didn't want to leave a clearly depressed Xander sitting here either.

They sat in silence for awhile before Xander finally spoke. "The room was too empty."

Riley nodded slowly; he couldn't mask the concern in his eyes. "Is there someone I should call?"

As Xander shook his head the bartender came over. "Closing time, guys. Sorry."

Xander responded by looking down at his drink.

Riley signed the bar tab and stood up. "You staying here, or did you just decide you wanted a change from the Bronze?"

"Honeymoon suite," Xander mumbled.

Ouch, thought Riley. "I'm guessing things didn't go as planned."

Xander slumped his head on the bar. "They so didn't."

Riley said, "C'mon. I've got a couple six packs in my room. Plenty of misery to go around."

Xander slid off the stool. Standing wasn't as easy as he remembered. He grabbed onto the bar to steady himself. "Like you've never been trashed," he said as Riley tried to hide his grin.

Riley's smile faded. "Nah, my poison took a different form. You coming?"

===============================================================

Willow walked into the living room and held the bowl of popcorn out to Buffy. "Comfort food?"

Buffy smiled and grabbed a handful, pulling her knees up to her chest while Willow sat back down on the other end of the couch.

Willow said, "No answer. Still."

Buffy's eyes were focused on the floor. "He must be so sad. Why do you think he...?"

Willow just shook her head sadly.

"What is it with the men in this town, anyway?" Buffy asked. "Is there some rule book that tells them how to screw everything up just when things look like they might get good?"

Willow raised her eyebrows at Buffy, surprised at the vehemence behind her words.

"I mean... Angel. And then Oz. And Riley."

"They do come back, though," Willow offered.

Buffy glared. "Giles. Xander."

"But Xander didn't leave town – as far as we know at least. And, umm, there's Spike. I mean, he left, too, but he came back and stayed. Still, good point," Willow said. "Kind of happy with the gay thing right now."

Buffy looked back down at the floor, subdued again. "You think he's o.k.?"

"I think he just needs some time," Willow answered. "Maybe we should patrol?"

"Yeah, I guess," Buffy answered with complete disinterest. Not that Anya was her favorite person, but Xander had been happy with her. They had been happy together. They had fought the odds and stuck it out. Buffy felt depressed. For once, she didn't feel like staking vampires, didn't feel like slaying demons; just wanted to sit here and be... depressed.

===============================================================

Riley turned the water up as hot as it would go. The heat felt good on his aching muscles; sleeping on a couch designed for a twelve-year old was not one of his brightest ideas. He had finally fallen asleep around four a.m. while watching Game 6 of the 1986 World Series on ESPN. He hadn't figured Xander for a baseball fan but that's what Xander had finally settled on and Riley had no complaints. Beer and baseball wasn't such a bad way to end the night after all.

The bathroom door slammed open and Riley heard Xander run in just in time to puke his guts out. A groan, and then, "Awwww, fuck."

Riley stuck his head out of the shower and watched as Xander leaned back, wincing as he knocked his head against the wall. Riley said, "You look like shit."

Xander closed his eyes. "If only I felt that good."

Riley shut off the water and grabbed a towel. "It'll get better. Just takes time." He left Xander sitting on the floor as he went into the other room and got dressed; heard Xander get sick again. Riley drew back the shades and cranked the handle to open the window, letting in a gust of fresh air. The rain had finally stopped. No wonder Xander was sick, Riley thought as he picked up the empty beer cans. The six packs were gone and the bottle of tequila was half empty. Riley didn't remember opening the tequila; Xander must have done that after Riley had fallen asleep.

He grabbed some clean clothes out of his bag and went back in the bathroom. Xander was still sitting in the same place. "Time to get moving." He put the clothes next to the sink and turned on the shower. "This stuff should fit you. I'll be back in 20 minutes."

Xander groaned as he tentatively stood up. His head was throbbing and he still felt queasy. A shower sounded good.

===============================================================

"Maybe he's screening," Buffy said as she paced back and forth.

"Maybe Anya already turned him into a pile of goo," Dawn said as she munched on a piece of toast. She looked down as she saw Buffy and Willow's horrified expressions. She mumbled, "Like you haven't already thought of it."

Buffy and Willow glanced at each other then quickly looked away.

"I mean," Dawn continued, "that off 'im guy was there. You think he didn't give her her powers back?"

"D'Hoffryn, not 'off him,'" Willow said as she turned off the stove and brought a plate of eggs to the counter.

"My way makes more sense."

Willow wasn't listening. She looked at Buffy. "Do you think she would? Just like that?"

Buffy said briskly, "No. Of course not." At least she hoped not. "They're going to be fine. They just need to work some things out," Buffy said unconvincingly. She went over to Willow and gave her a hug. "He's going to be fine. I don't think it will come to that but even if it does, we've dealt with Anyanka before."

Willow just nodded; her eyes were glassy.

"Alright," Buffy said, "no more sitting around. Let's go."

"Where?" asked Dawn.

"You guys check his parents' place and his apartment. I'll see if I can find Anya."

Willow nodded, much more lively this time. "I'll call Tara. See if she'll stay here in case he calls."

"O.k. And stay away from the graveyards – there are too many demons around for the wedding and they may not be happy to see any of us right now."

===============================================================

"I guess I should thank you for not paying me back and making me wear some weird looking pants," Xander said as he emerged from the bathroom looking almost healthy again in running pants and a long-sleeved t-shirt.

"Nothing I own even comes close," Riley said. He handed Xander a styrofoam cup filled with coffee and gestured towards the box on the table. "You feeling up to doughnuts?"

Xander smiled and said, "Nothing a jelly doughnut can't make better." His voice faltered as he sank into a chair, burying his head in his hands.

Riley sat on the bed across from him. "Xander, you need to call someone. Willow? Buffy? At least let them know you're o.k."

Xander shook his head while Riley was saying this. "I can't... I don't... God, they probably wouldn't even talk to me right now."

"I think you're wrong, but it's your call."

Xander wasn't listening. "The look on her face. I'll never forget the look on her face."

Riley stood up and grabbed his keys off the dresser. "O.k. Let's go."

Xander looked up with a dazed expression. "Huh?"

Riley stood in the open doorway. "We're going. Out. Somewhere not here."

===============================================================

Buffy approached the crypt hesitantly and opened the door, listening for any sounds that might indicate Spike's date was still around. Things were amazingly neat for a room that had been blown up not too long ago. Maybe Spike wasn't even here, but it was a good place to start.

She heard a movement and walked toward it. Saw Spike lying on a mattress on the floor, the covers drawn up to his waist.

He awoke with a start as she sat down next to him. He raised an eyebrow and said, "Don't suppose you're here for..."

She shook her head as she smiled. "Sorry. If it wasn't important..."

"Yeah, yeah," he said sitting up. "Your soldier boy back again? Telling more stories?"

"Actually, he is. Back. But this is about Xander. Or, I guess, Anya."

Spike looked at her warily. "They're not here, luv."

"I know they're not *here*, but..." Buffy stood up. "You haven't seen Anyanka around, have you?"

"Anyanka?" A smile dawned on Spike's face. "That git didn't piss off a vengeance demon, did he? Even he can't be that..." His voice trailed off as he saw the look on Buffy's face. "Precious. You lot just can't be happy, can you?"

"Let me know if you hear anything?" she said quietly, backing away.

Spike's expression softened. "Yeah. I will."

===============================================================

"That was *not* fun," Willow said to Dawn as they walked away from Xander's parents' house, his mom still glaring at them from the front door.

"Why was she so mad at you?" Dawn asked. "It's not like it's your fault this time. I mean, he's the one who went all crazy and left. All by himself. It wasn't even a spell or anything." Her voice was quiet as she asked, "Was it?"

"A spell?" Willow stopped walking and turned to Dawn. "Did something happen, Dawn?"

Dawn's face flushed. "Why do you always think it's me who did it? You're all the ones with the super powers. I'm just the one that always gets left..."

"Dawn!" Willow snapped. "Tell me."

"But I didn't..."

"Dawn!"

Dawn sat down on the curb. "I just... That friend of Anya's – the one that locked us in the house?"

"Halfrek."

"Yeah. Halfrek. She asked me if I had any more wishes." Dawn was mumbling, her voice trembling slightly as she tried desperately to reign in her emotions. "And I may have thought something about Xander not marrying Anya. Maybe."

"Thought it or said it?" Willow asked.

"Thought, I think. But I don't remember for sure." Dawn looked up at Willow with a tear-streaked face. "Is this my fault, too?"

Willow sat down and put her arm around Dawn's shoulders. "No, this isn't your fault."

"But I wished that Riley would go away. Then I changed my mind, but he left anyway. And I wished I was an only child, and Buffy died. And then... Giles... never... house... Xander..."

Willow could only make out a few words here and there through Dawn's sobs. "Dawn," she murmured, pulling Dawn closer. "No, Dawn. Stop. You didn't make these things happen. Oh, Dawnie. People do things for all sorts of reasons."

"But Xander..."

"Dawn, listen to me. I don't know why Xander did this. But we'll find him and he'll be o.k. And we'll figure something out." Willow added softly, "We always do."

===============================================================

"End of the line," Riley said as he pulled up next to a shack in what was an otherwise deserted field.

Xander looked around nervously. "Listen, man. I had no control with the whole Dracula thing. You know that, right?"

Riley laughed. "Don't worry. I'm not in this with Anya. I'm not delivering you to anyone." He got out of the car and walked toward the shack. He tried the door and smiled when it opened. He disappeared into the dark and came out a couple minutes later carrying two buckets of golf balls and a couple of clubs.

"Golf?" Xander asked with a look of total disbelief as he climbed out of the truck.

"Don't knock it. It's better with rifles and kiwi, but this works, too." Riley walked around the building.

Xander followed him and saw there were three areas with artificial turf. Riley was putting a ball on a tee. He pulled the club back over his shoulder and then brought it forward, hitting the ball out into the field. Xander asked, "We don't have to pick them up again, do we?"

"That's the best part." Riley grinned. "They've got this cool net thing you hook up to your car. Either that or you bring some private and make him do it while you hit balls at him." Riley swung at another ball, smiling as it soared into the air.

"How'd you find this place?" Xander leaned down and placed a ball on the tee. He gripped the club and took a practice swing before sending the ball into the field. Not bad for a guy with a hangover.

"Forrest's dad knows the guy who owns it. We used to come out here when Walsh got to be too much."

Xander nodded. Riley hadn't asked any questions about Anya; hadn't pushed Xander to explain. Xander reached down for another ball and put it on the tee. There was something soothing about the rhythm of swinging the club and hearing the sound as it connected with the ball. The breeze was heavy with moisture as it rippled through the trees; it wasn't raining but the clouds still hadn't cleared. Xander wasn't used to this kind of tranquility and quiet acceptance. "I hang out with girls too much," he muttered.

===============================================================

Buffy banged on the door. "Anya! Are you in there?" She put her ear to the door. Nothing. She knocked again. Looked around to see if anyone was watching before she broke the lock and pushed the door in.

She walked in and took a quick look around. Nothing seemed out of place. Anya's bags were just inside the door all packed for the honeymoon. They had planned to spend the night of the wedding at one of the local hotels, not wanting to rush to catch a plane. Buffy guessed they would have picked up the bags Sunday morning. This morning.

Buffy noticed Anya's wedding dress, hanging neatly on the bathroom door. She walked over to it and ran her hand down the beaded skirt. She sat down on the floor. Poor Anya. Poor, poor Anya. And Xander. What had he been thinking? Why hadn't he said anything to them? How awful he must be feeling right now. A drop of water fell on the skirt. Buffy realized it had come from her, she was crying. Before she knew it, the sobs had overtaken her. Tears for Xander and Anya, for Willow and Tara. For love that had been lost.

She let herself cry until the tears were gone. She stood up and wiped off her face, checking the messages on the answering machine before leaving. Nothing from Xander; nothing that would lead them to Anya. She scribbled a note to Anya and taped it to the door. "Call us. We're worried about you. Love, Buffy and Willow and Dawn. P.S. Sorry about the door. I'm good for it." She pulled the door behind her, closing it as best she could, and slowly walked home.

===============================================================

Xander looked out the window as the sun set over the ocean. They had been driving up and down the coast for hours. Every time they approached the exit that would take them to Sunnydale, Xander shook his head. Riley had finally settled into a pattern: five exits north, turn around, drive past Sunnydale, five exits south. And again. Riley had tried one more time to talk Xander into calling Buffy and Willow, to no avail. That had been two hours ago. Since then, Riley hadn't said a word, leaving Xander to replay the scene with Anya over and over in his head.

It was finally enough. "Can I have cotton candy, too? If I promise not to get sick again, Dad?"

Riley smiled. "I'm overdoing the silent support thing."

"No," Xander said quietly. "It's appreciated. But I think I'm ready."

"To see Anya?"

Xander's breath caught as he thought about seeing her. He couldn't face that yet. "No. Buffy's house."

Riley nodded. "You want to let them know we're coming? It'll be about an hour."

"Hell, no, my friend. That will just give them time to get mad again. This way they'll be happy I'm not dead and they might not kill me."

"You underestimate them. I don't think they would ever hurt you."

"Shows what you know," Xander mumbled.

They didn't speak again until Riley pulled up in front of Buffy's. Xander just sat there, staring at the door. Riley put the car in park, but didn't turn off the ignition. Xander said, "I hear Mexico's nice this time of year. It's not so far..."

"Unh-uh," Riley said. "Get it over with. It'll be o.k."

Xander nodded and took a deep breath but he didn't move.

Riley leaned back in the seat and glanced at Xander before looking away. "Don't do this alone. It ends badly."

Xander looked up sharply. "Works both ways." He opened the car door, noticed the engine was still running. "You coming?"

Riley shook his head. "Thanks, no. I've got..."

Xander cut him off. "Don't make me go in there all by my lonesome."

"It's not my place, Xander." It had only been two days since he and Buffy had traded stories about the last year. She had been through a lot; he wasn't going to push her.

"Riley – I don't know what happened with you and Sam. And I don't know if there's still something there for you and Buffy. But, well..." Xander's voice trailed off as he started to get out of the car. When he turned back to Riley, his voice was light again. "You're bigger than I am. You can cover me when they start with the crossbows and spells."

Riley laughed. He looked up at the house before turning off the car and getting out. "O.k. Lead the way."

Xander nodded and crossed the street. He took a deep breath and glanced at Riley before ringing the doorbell. The door opened and before he could say anything he was in Willow's arms and she was saying his name over and over, leading him into the living room.

The relief on Buffy's face was visible as she came up behind Willow. She stopped suddenly. "Riley."

"Hi," he said quietly, unsure of himself.

She just stood there looking at him.

Riley's eyes went cold as Spike walked into the hallway and put his arm around Buffy. "Let the boy in, pet," he said with a mean smile. "Poor thing looks lost."

Buffy shrugged his arm off her shoulder and glared at Spike as she put her hand out to Riley. "Come in. Please."

Riley walked past Spike into the living room. He sat on the edge of a chair and folded his arms against his chest.

Dawn came running down the stairs with Tara trailing behind her. "Was that the doorbell?" Dawn asked. She saw Xander and skidded to a stop. "Hey, Xander. Riley." She looked around the room. "Ummm. Hi."

Buffy walked to the couch, sitting down next to Xander. "Don't ever do that again."

"Leave Anya at the altar? Yeah, I think I'll try and avoid doing that one twice," Xander answered.

Buffy glared at him. "We were so worried..." She ducked her head as she realized she was crying again.

Xander put his arm around her and gave her a hug. "Thanks," he said. "Has she...?" He stopped as his voice caught. Took a breath and started again. "Have you talked to Anya?"

Buffy glanced at Willow before shaking her head. She looked at Spike.

"Yeah. So as I was saying," Spike said, picking up where he left off when the doorbell rang. "Anyanka hasn't surfaced yet, but rumor has it she's got her old job back. If she wants it."

Xander sunk his head in his hands. "This can't be happening."

Spike said under his breath, "Shouldn't be messing with fire."

"Shut up, Spike," Riley said. He asked Buffy and Willow, "Do you know where Anya would go?"

Willow shook her head. "She wouldn't talk to us... after. We've left messages but..." She shrugged her shoulders.

"Maybe you should get your cub scouts on it," Spike said to Riley. "Hunt her down and neutralize 'er."

Xander looked up in horror at Spike, then at Riley. "You can't. Whatever she does, I deserve it. This isn't her fault."

"Right you are," Spike said to Xander. He sat back, clearly pleased with himself. He addressed Riley again. "Don't run off now and do something daft. You do have a history of that, you know."

"Do you ever stop talking?" Riley asked Spike. "I heard you had gone all soft now; just didn't expect you to be quite so irritating." Riley stood up. Willow and Buffy didn't seem angry; Xander was clearly in good hands. "Xander – you know where you can find me."

Xander nodded. "I'll walk you out."

Riley turned to Buffy and Willow. "Night." He smiled at Tara and ruffled Dawn's hair, "Night, ki... Dawn." He stepped out onto the porch, Xander right behind him.

"Riley, what Spike said..."

Riley put his hand on Xander's shoulder. "We'll take this one step at a time. You need to figure out what you want. Make peace with it. We'll be here for you. Whatever you need." He turned to leave.

"Riley?" Xander said. "Thanks. This was a good day. You know, as good as it could be seeing as it was the worst day of my about-to-be-over life."

Riley smiled. "She's still Anya. Remember that. Have a little faith in what you had."

Xander started to go inside before turning back to Riley. "You sure you don't want to stay? I'm sure Buffy wouldn't mind..."

"I'm fine, Xander. But thanks." Riley waited until Xander had gone back inside before turning to the car. He stood on the porch for a few minutes just looking at the sky. The clouds had moved in again and it was starting to drizzle. He walked slowly, enjoying the way the mist felt on his face. He was almost at the car when he heard his name. He turned to see Buffy coming toward him.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi back."

She hesitated. She wasn't sure why she had come out here, but she didn't want him to just go.

"You doing o.k.?" he asked.

"Me? Why?"

He smiled. Buffy and her questions. "Just asking. You seem really sad."

She looked down at the ground and mumbled, "Yeah. A little." A minute passed before she spoke again. "Anya..."

"I know," he said softly. "We have to find her. She's too much of a threat right now."

Buffy nodded. "It's funny, but I just can't picture her hurting Xander. Not in a ripping his guts out kind of way."

"No," said Riley. "I don't think that's how she'd do it."

Buffy looked up sharply. "What do you mean? How would she do it?"

Riley couldn't believe Buffy didn't see it, but maybe she was just too close. "If I were Anya and had just been through that, I'd think ripping his guts out would be too easy. I'd be thinking more about making him miserable. Make him know what it's like to be alone."

She closed her eyes. "Willow."

"And you."

She leaned her head against the car. "This is so messed up."

Riley sat back against the hood. "Yeah. It kind of is."

Buffy was quiet for a few minutes. "Did he say anything? About why he did it?"

"He was pretty quiet all day. Didn't talk much."

"And you, of course, didn't ask any questions."

Riley grinned. "You know me. Not my style." He straightened up and was opening the car door when she grabbed his arm.

"About Spike. Being here."

"You don't need to explain..." he said, looking down at her hand on his sleeve.

She let go reluctantly. "He's been there for us. For me."

Riley really didn't want to be hearing this. "Maybe you should be telling Willow this. I don't think I'm the right person..."

"I just needed you to know. I didn't want you to think..."

"I'm not going to judge you, Buffy," Riley said quietly. "I'm in no position to do that."

She couldn't meet his eyes. She put her hands in her back pockets and kicked at the ground. "You missed a hell of a year," she said, her eyes brimming with tears.

He wanted to pull her to him, but didn't think she would take too kindly to that. "Yeah. I guess I did." The drizzle had turned to a light rain. "You're going to get soaked. You should go back in."

She looked up at the sky and closed her eyes. "It's kind of nice out here." She stood there letting the rain wash over her.

After a couple minutes, Riley cleared his throat. "You coming up with a plan over there or are you just doing that to drive me crazy?"

Buffy jumped. "Sorry. I was just thinking..."

He looked at her expectantly. "About?" he asked when she didn't elaborate.

About the way you would look with the rain running down your bare back; how it would taste if I kissed you right now.

"Buffy?" he asked again, trying to ignore the hungry look in her eyes.

She took a step toward him and reached her hand to his hair.

There was an edge to his voice as he asked, "What are you doing, Buffy?" His back was against the car and with her so close it took everything he had not to go along.

She pulled away.

He grabbed her arm. "Is this really what you want? Out here? On the hood of this car? Because if you push it, I won't say no. But I want something more." He let go of her and let his hand drop to his side. "I know it's not something you can give right now; I can wait. And maybe it's just not there. I can deal with that, too. But I want something more."

She wrapped her arms around herself, fought the tears that threatened to spill again. She started to tremble. "I don't know, Riley. I just don't know," she said as she lost the battle for control and let the tears flow freely. "Love doesn't work here. It just doesn't work."

"I don't believe that, Buffy. It's hard, but it's worth it." He was almost shouting so she could hear him over the rain that was now pouring down. "You're worth it," he said, much more quietly.

She shook her head and pulled her arms tighter against her, trying to stop from shaking.

Riley didn't hesitate this time; he pulled her into his arms, and held her there until the crying subsided. After a few minutes he asked jokingly, "So do you want to do it on the hood or not?"

She laughed as she pulled away from him, wiping her eyes. "I should go in. You sure you need to leave?"

As much as he wanted to stay, he knew that would be a mistake. "Yeah. First day tomorrow and all that." Officially, at least.

She nodded and turned to cross the street; paused and turned back to him. "Thank you." She ducked her head and walked towards the house.

Riley climbed into the car, watching her go. She got to the front door and looked back at him, smiling and giving a slight wave before she went in. After the door closed behind her, Riley started the engine and shifted into gear. He smiled as he thought to himself, yeah. A good day.

THE END